WHERE'S THE CONDOM?

art by Oleg Duo

I once had a male partner who, refreshingly, was adamant about wearing condoms whenever we had sex. One night, after a few drinks, we got together. Once we'd finished, he told me that he couldn't find the condom he'd been wearing. I thought he was trying to politely get out of never wearing one in the first place so told him not to sweat it and go to sleep. I woke up in the morning alone (he never spent the night as a mutual rule), with a clearer head and remembered our conversation. I looked all over my room (in the covers, under the bed) and couldn't find it. My inner safety freak told me to go to the nearby clinic (I was in college, it was free and it was next door) to check and thank God I did. The condom he'd been wearing was too small and had snapped off during intercourse. It was lodged behind my cervix and a nurse had to pull it out with tongs. It had only been four hours since the deed so I was fine, but the nurse warned me that if it'd been longer, I could have become infected and gone into septic shock. Moral of the story guys, find your size! And, if it does come off during, please have the decency to be honest about it like my partner was. It's a little awkward but could save a cervix!